pat loughery

I’ve been reluctant to blog more, as the events leading up to my last blog entry felt, well, final, and I sort of didn’t want to break that sense of finality. But of course we’re not dead yet; it’s just a flesh wound. And, since whatever we do next will be under a new name, I’ll have to move my blog, and probably retitle it, which makes further blogging a hassle. But I have answered some questions privately in email, and I continue to need to process my thoughts in writing, so bear with me. I’ll let you know as much about where we’re going as I can.

I can report to you that we (whatever we are) have gathered for worship, for a Christmas dinner party, for intercessory prayer and via telephone to celebrate Terry‘s near-championship in our fantasy football league, so life has continued. This weekend the Lougherys are hosting a New Year’s Eve party.

Meanwhile, we’re trying to work through the details of the church planting process that is placed upon us. Our friends in the Vineyard who have process authority over us are quite curious about the actual state of the church – understandably so. To the movement as a whole, it’s important to denote whether Mt. Si Vineyard is closed, and something new may be planted later; or whether our Sunday gatherings have simply moved to a new location (the Loughery home) and our name is changing. And in any case, when do we expect to be back to a public gathering time in a public place. And what happens if the shape we wish to take isn’t recognized by the Vineyard as a church?

These are all wonderful questions. I wish I had answers for them, but I don’t. I have some ideas, but I can’t answer anything with certainty at this moment. We hope to remain part of the Vineyard, but we recognize that the Vineyard’s recognized shapes of church are quite well-defined, and we may not fit into those defined shapes in the future.

I do know that our leadership team – the four of us remaining – are completely convinced that God is not through with us or our vision yet. We know that we are re-entering a time of dedicated prayer, waiting and listening. We know that about 15 people go forward with us, and we’ve added three people in the transition (meeting Ed Cook for counseling/mentoring/friendship at my new favorite coffeehouse, he teased me: “so, your plan for church growth is to kill off your church?!?” Apparently so.).

I’m continuing in conversation with Ed, with Rich and Rose Swetman and with Roy Conwell, all pastors in the vineyard who function as coaches and friends for me. Each of them has been incredibly supportive (I’m tearing up as I type this; you have no idea what it means to have support in a time like this). I’m also getting great help, tough questions and thought-provoking discussion with many other people, too numerous to count or identify here.

In our first week of gathering, we talked about our vision as a community, our sense of grief and mourning for what feels lost, and our sense of hope. We discussed 1 Peter 1, from my own notes jotted down on a napkin. That passage has been beautiful to me lately.

As for me, I’m in the Scripture more than ever – with mixed needs of healing and of seeking. I’ve read through 1-2 Peter, Philippians, Colossians, James, Luke, and now Acts and wherever else I feel led.

I’ve read two books from my shelf in my quest to understand the shape of church: Organic Church: Growing Faith Where Life Happens (Neil Cole) and Liquid Church (Pete Ward), summarizing each into 8-10 pg papers for my own use and passing them along to friends. I just finished reading Mission Shaped Church this morning on the bus ride in to work – wonderful thinking that made me want to convert to Anglicanism and join Tom Wright and Maggi Dawn.

As leaders and as a church, we’re trying to place everything about our hopes and dreams and expectations on the altar, and let he purifying fire of God work its way through us. The shape of our church, our identity, our partnerships, our affiliation, our liturgy, our expectations.

In some of those areas we’re getting clarification – early clarification, but a bit. In some, we’ll just have to wait.

In the midst of this, I’m realizing that we have clarified our core values and our mission quite well, but that our vision continues to be refined. In my mind now I have spectacular things – things I have no idea how they would ever be reasonably accomplished, but things that I’m willing to give my life for.

I think we’re on the right track.