pat loughery

When I was in college, I did the typical undergrad “I don’t know what I want to do with my life” thing and had four majors over time. Electrical engineering until I got a ‘D’ in Physics 101 (my first D ever as a student), then Math Education until I did my in-class observation course and realized I wasn’t cut out for that work, then Math/Computer Science until I realized that I liked advanced mathematics much more than I was good at it or able to grasp it, and then finally Computer Science as my graduation began to loom and I had to go with something.

Through all my undergrad time, I also studied music. My school’s music program was awesome – small enough that people like me who weren’t immensely skilled could participate, but large enough that we had some fantastic instructors and students. I played in jazz bands with and conducted by Bill Drury who’s got a nice gig these days, the Dave Stewart who used to play piano with Robert Cray before Cray hit it, and several other folks. I played saxophones in the jazz big-bands, played a bit in our pop/rock pep band (which was way before the basketball team was any good, studied music theory, did a bit of simple composition.

I loved music. I’ve always been somebody who loved listening to music and tried to understand it, and let it move me. But the more I played and studied, the more I realized that as much as I loved listening and playing, I wasn’t very naturally gifted. I was spending 7-10 hours in practice a week, but I was getting to the point that I was only almost good enough to play in combos outside the school. It was frustrating to me, but I was forced to realize my limitations.

During that time, I had this grand plan. I was going to move to Boston and go to Berklee College of Music. I’m not sure how I got this plan, but I’m fairly certain that it involved Bill D and some Wild Turkey. If it didn’t, it’s a safe bet for that part of my life anyway :-). Why Berklee? Well they just churn out great musicians, and to me, Boston was exotic – an east coast city, a mystery. I did some research, some checking. My heart was to a large extent set on Berklee, but there was that talent gap again. Just not good enough.

I finished my time at Gonzaga with my B. S. in computer science and didn’t finish out my minor in music (which would have required taking a class in conducting, and doing a junior recital).

Until this past week I’d sort of forgotten all this. I don’t play sax much anymore, but I picked up the guitar a while ago and play some. I’m still not as good as I’d like to be, but I’m forgiving of my self for that – not much time to just sit and practice these days.

But while we were in Boston walking around the downtown area, we walked past Berklee. It was such a thrill – seeing young students with instruments in gig bags slung over their shoulders, talking over a cigarette on the sidewalk. We walked by the Berklee performance center where student recitals happen. I went to the bookstore and picked up a couple of DVDs (one for guitar, one for latin hand drums) and a shirt, just to keep the thought of being trained at Berklee alive :-).

I still have a large part of me that wishes I could have been a world-class musician. It’s probably why Almost Famous is one of my favorite movies. But I like where I am now. I enjoy being part of a family, leading a church, living tucked away in the mountainous suburbs. Of course, if I could do all that AND be a killer musician also, I’d go for that.