pat loughery

These are thoughts about handling transitions in life. They come from a brief lecture by Grace Barnes at Bakke Graduate University in our Overture I course.

Life changes occur by our choice and not by our choice. Transitions can be confusing and difficult. Even transitions for good reasons can cause us to grieve the loss of the old way just as we’re expecting the new way.

Because changes impact human lives, and all humans change, each transition must be handled uniquely.

Transitions always have three phases. Something ends, we live in a neutral zone, and something begins. These stages can overlap, and there is no way to know out how long each stage will last.

Endings can be events or states of mind. We can end by disengaging, dismantling, being disoriented or disenchanted. Some endings do not end well and we can ignore or deny endings. However, we must learn to celebrate or grieve. We must learn to end well.

Transitions include neutral zones between ending and beginning. These are processing stations for change. We can feel empty, uncertain, frustrated, bored, restless. The neutral zone often feels like you’re living in a fog. You may feel that you’ve come to the end of a map but not have a sense of direction for what’s next. During the neutral zone period, you need time for reflection, renewal, assessment and evaluation. Psalms 46:10 is helpful. During this phase, you embrace and lean into the experience.

Beginnings are the third phase of transition. Whether they are beginnings that we have chosen or that have simply occurred to us, we must internalize the transition process. We cannot live in the past, but must build upon it and incorporate it into our present. We can learn and move on into the future.

Scriptures that are helpful in times of transition: Deuteronomy 31:6-8; Joshua 1:5-7; Hebrews 13:5-8; Jeremiah 29:11-14; Proverbs 3:5-6; Proverbs 16:9; Colossians 3:15-17.

Some of these ideas come from “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, Revised 25th Anniversary Edition” (William Bridges).