Today we looked at Luke 15:1-32. In the story/3-stories in this section of Luke, the religious leaders are harassing Jesus for hanging out with and having dinner with (identifying himself with) the wrong people. Jesus’ response is to tell three stories – one about a shepherd who leaves his 99 sheep to go rescue the one which is missing and throws a big party afterward; one about a woman who loses one of her coins and then finds it and throws a big party afterward; one about a father with two sons, one of whom blows his cash stash on hookers and booze but returns home, and the father welcomes him and throws a big party afterward.

We talked a lot about each parable, taking the perspective that Jesus tells a parable to wrap up one point, and to force the listener to decide at the end of the story which camp they fall into: acceptors or rejectors of that one point.

We talked about the misconception that the son is prodigal in the third story (isn’t this story titled “The Prodigal Son” in most bibles, which just proves that the chapter breaks and chapter headings aren’t divinely inspired in the least?), but in actuality the father is more prodigal (as the same figure is in the first two stories).

But then we had to get down to reality: it’s all well and good to say that we should love abundantly, but how do we love and welcome those who keep screwing up their chances? Two of the people in our church are dealing with family members who have gotten themselves into nasty predicaments (both influenced by drug use), and they have to ask themselves the question, “is it better to help/rescue/bail-out, or to not? Which is more loving? One of those people has actually gotten into a situation where her life is being threatened; is it the family member’s responsibility to shelter her, or is that putting the family at too much risk? What Would Jesus Do?

The bottom line for us today was to think about this: Can we, in the name of Christ, love extravagantly but also put up good boundaries? And if so, are we putting up those boundaries to keep ourselves safe in an unholy way, or are we being wise?

One person brought up the point that the lost son in the third story returned to his father in repentance, and maybe that’s a key point. But the coin and the sheep, though, they weren’t repentant when the Father went after them, one would presume.

So, cyber-friends, how do you balance extravagantly loving those that the Father misses against not enabling people to continue further in their own problems?

5 responses to “★ Can you love extravagantly, but have healthy boundaries?”

  1. j Avatar

    I know a few couples who are in similar predicaments. One adult son (who is schizophrenic) takes advantage of his mom's love to continue with drug and alcohol abuse. It's driven a wedge between the parents who still love each other very much. When we pray for them the constant refrain is maybe he'd be better off in jail where he has structure and no easy access to drugs and booze.

    In this case, the concept of letting the son go to fall on his face in hopes he will repent seems the best idea. You can still lavish love on them when their in jail or out of arms reach or no longer married to you.

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  2. j Avatar

    Can you expand a little on the father being prodigal? I'm not sure how you seem him being wasteful.

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  3. Pat Avatar
    Pat

    Hi j – thanks for hte comments. On the father being prodigal:

    First, I'm using these two definitions from dictionary.com:
    1. Rashly or wastefully extravagant
    2. Giving or given in abundance; lavish or profuse

    The son certainly was wasteful with his inheritance, but if I look at what must be considered wasteful extravagance, abundance, lavishness, I see the Father's love for his empty shell of a son.

    I read (I think in Scot McKnight's book but I don't have it handy) that the standard ritual for the village elders to enact when one of its members' children broke from the family and left the country and then returned, was to spot the returning child before he entered the city, gather the elders, break a pot at the child's feet as a representation of the child's banishment from the village.

    Does the father's countercultural reaction cost him social standing in the village? In any case, the Father, having spent his time looking our for his son's return, was being wasteful with that resource as well.

    Then there's the party. It's interesting how every one of these stories in Luke 15 ends with a party (and Jesus directly interprets each parable to remind his hearers about heaven's rejoicing at the return of a lost person).

    I love how Jesus tells a story of extravagant, abundant love in response to his enemies' chalenge to him not to identify himself with sinners.

    Does that help a bit?

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  4. j Avatar

    oh yes. that more than helps. It's great even.

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  5. drug abuse treatment Avatar

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I’m Pat

Passionate about the common good, human flourishing, lifelong learning, being a good ancestor.

Things I do: Engineering leadership; Grad Instructor in spirituality, creativity, digital personhood, pilgrimage.

Powerlifter, mountain biker, Gonzaga basketball fan, reader, urban sketcher, hiker.