Yesterday we found out that our next-door neighbors suffered a horrible tragedy – his younger sister died unexpectedly sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning. She was 34 or 35, she’d had a history of migraines and had gone into the hospital on Friday to get a headache checked out. They sent her home. it’s unclear if she was prescribed medications – which could be a key point; she was given a medication two years ago that she had a bad reaction to and spent a couple of weeks hospitalized, part of that time comatose. However we don’t yet know what happened this weekend.
We went next door last night to see how we could help. Mike’s understandably very broken up. The ladies wandered off into the living room; Mike and I moved into the family room. He poured two of his homebrews – he’s a commercial quality brewer, has medaled in national competitions, etc. We had the Gonzaga basketball game on in the background.
We talked, laughed and cried over a barleywine, and then over an altbier.
Kaileigh came with us. She provided entertainment, banging candlesticks together, chasing the dog, trying on baseball caps, and tipping over the bowl of popcorn. Simple life things, much cherished in the circumstance.
We celebrated the Gonzaga win, and called it a night.
What do you say to a friend who’s lost his baby sister at such a young age, so unexpectedly? They don’t teach you this in Pastor School, or Home Group Leader Training, or anywhere else. I listened; I asked him questions to let him talk, I tried not to offer advice or opinions.
I tried to celebrate what I knew about Lucinda from the few times I’ve met her at his house. She was a very beautiful woman, full of life, outspoken and confident. Very comfortable to be around, but you also knew that if you did something she didn’t like, you’d certainly hear about it.
Today I helped him arrange for a funeral director, and a location for a memorial service. I hope to attend the service. I offered to perform the service, but the family has somebody else in mind, a previous pastor from when they were growing up I think. Just as well – I’ve performed several weddings, but never a funeral, and I suspect it would be much easier to learn how to do that ministry if I don’t know those who are grieving quite so well.
pat loughery 
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